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Home » mental health

Avoid the Holidays Blues

November 26, 2021 By Aaryn Secker 4 Comments

The holiday season will be quickly upon us and once again it’s likely this year will look a little bit different than what we are all used to. This time of year is meant to be a time of joy, celebration and for spending time with those we love – something we may not be able to do in the usual way. The festivities also come with high expectations of perfection that many of us struggle to live up to. Feelings of isolation, financial strain or increased family conflict are not uncommon and it’s likely more of us will be having these feelings this year – making for possibly a very stressful time of year.

CMHA Kelowna suggests that some of the best ways to deal with added stress around the holiday season are common sense strategies. The key is to keep things simple, focus on what is important to you and, most importantly, remember to make your mental health a priority.

Tips for Holiday Peace of Mind:

  1. Plan ahead. If you’re entertaining n your bubble, use the “keep it simple” strategy. Try menus you can make ahead of time or at least partially prepare and freeze. Decorate, cook, shop, or do whatever’s on your list in advance. Then you can really relax and enjoy.
  2. As much as possible, organize and delegate. Rather than leaving holiday preparations to one person – get the whole family to join in! Whether it is gift-wrapping, decorating, baking, or addressing or decorating cards – there is something for every member of your household to take part in!
  3. Beware of overindulgence. Having a few too many glasses of eggnog or holiday spirits can initially lift your mood but then drop you lower than before. Also, too many sweets will probably make you feel lethargic and tired. Simple things like eating well, exercising regularly and getting a good night’s sleep are ways to maintain holiday peace of mind and the winter blues.
  4. Stay within budget. Finances can be a source of stress for many people, especially during the holidays, and likely this year more so than others. This year in particular folks are looking for genuine connection. Try putting family members and partners’ names in a hat and buy one gift for the person you draw; this can help reduce expenses and refocus energies on thoughtfulness, creativity and truly personal gifts. Encourage children to make gifts for friends and relatives so the focus is on giving rather than buying. A call, a physically distanced visit, or a note to tell someone how important they are to you can be as touching as, and sometimes more meaningful than, a gift.
  5. Remember what the holiday season is about for you. This season is really about sharing, loving and time spent with family and loved ones. Now is the time to have a look at your meaningful family traditions and think of creative ways you can still celebrate them. Also, remember not to take things too seriously. Fun or silly things to do, games or movies that make you laugh, playing with pets, and time alone or with a partner are all good ways to reduce stress and enjoy the season. Use this time of year to help reframe what is within your control and regain perspective.
  6. Connection is key. For some, this time of year can be a time for joy, celebration and for spending with loved ones. For others, it can be a time of feeling lonely and isolated – it is important to remember that this time of year is not always merry for everyone. This year in particular, we all understand how feelings of connection and belonging are so strongly tied to our mental health. This time of year is the perfect time to reconnect with your network. Find ways to safely spend time with others. Also, if you know that someone will be alone – invite them to take part. This will help you and them to feel better.
  7. Remember the weather doesn’t help. Some people get the winter blues each year, and a much smaller number (2-3%) develop Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Paying attention to nutrition, exercise and sleep and being careful with alcohol are also important if you have a history of depression. If your low mood carries on into the New Year and starts to affect your daily life, you should see your family doctor. There are free skills and coaching available to help overcome low mood or mild to moderate depression. If you think you need help, during the holiday season or anytime of the year – click here for some resources.

Tips for Coping with Holiday Grief

The holiday season can be especially rough for those of us who’ve lost someone close. With all the messages of family togetherness and joy, the emptiness left behind when someone passes away is in harsh contrast to what society seems to “expect” us to feel. Below are some extra tips to help you or someone you know get through a potentially hard time:

  1. Talking about the deceased person is okay. Your stress will only increase if the deceased person’s memory is allowed to become a landmine that everyone tiptoes around.
  2. Things won’t be the same. It’s normal to feel at odds with yourself and family events when dealing with grief. Try not to hide away, but don’t feel guilty about setting limits on how many events you will attend.
  3. Don’t let other people’s expectations dictate how your holiday will unfold. If you don’t feel like doing something this holiday season, don’t let others force you. If you do want to attend holiday functions, make sure you know your limits. Leave early, arrive late, drive alone—do whatever you need to do to help yourself.
  4. Take care of yourself and seek support. Stress, depression and bodily neglect are not a great mix at any time of the year. Don’t forget to practice self-care and talk to your friends and family about how you feel. Also, many communities offer support groups for people who are grieving. Being around people who know what you’re going through can be very comforting.
  5. Think about building some new traditions. Remember that it’s okay not to do what you traditionally do. Planning something totally different is not an insult to the memory of a loved one, and can be a positive way to ease some of the pressure. That said, one of the traditions may include planning a special time to celebrate the memories of the person who died. Some families develop creative rituals like decorating a miniature Christmas tree at the cemetery, donating money to a charity, singing their favorite seasonal song, reciting a special prayer before the evening meal, or even just lighting a candle. Symbolic gestures like these can help families validate their feelings of sadness and overcome the guilt of enjoying special occasions.

 

What Really Works?

With the holiday season fast approaching, we can begin to experience the pressure of festive expectations.

To help cope, please check out What Really Works? A mental health podcast for young people.

In Episode 14, hosts Beki and Olivia chat about why the holiday season can be stressful and filled with tough emotions, especially this year. From grief to hardships, to our personal expectations of festivities, you’ll hear not only validation of why this time of the year can be difficult for some, but also what tools we can use to support ourselves.

Whether you’re excited about the festive season or feeling apprehensive about it, this episode will provide you with some great knowledge and techniques!

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Filed Under: News Tagged With: anxiety, awareness, caregivers, community, depression, education, family support, help, holidays, mental health, stress, support

Kelowna podcaster giving back through donation to CMHA Kelowna Branch

November 22, 2021 By Jessica Samuels Leave a Comment

Lucas Cullen understands the need to talk, and also to listen. He does that on his weekly podcast.

But more importantly, he understands the need to act.

For those reasons, and many more, Lucas Cullen is supporting the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) Kelowna branch.

Cullen recently brought his cheque to the CMHA Kelowna office, then had his photo taken with a much larger version. His smile indicates what his heart is feeling.

“It’s a very surreal feeling, and anytime you get to give back, you do because you know it’s going to a good place, and it’s for something that obviously bigger than all of us,” said Cullen. “I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without the help of professionals. That’s what’s most important, and anytime I can give back I want to. I know that will be till the day I die. I owe it to that.”

Today Cullen is supporting CMHA Kelowna with his donation of $1,400, but it’s a culmination of what he started more than a year ago when he launched his website www.strugglecreatesstrength.com.

Over the course of the past year, Cullen discovered that while he started out to help himself,  he could help many others who were struggling as well.

“The reason I started this is that I felt I was in a rut myself, and I wanted to basically showcase that we all have these ups and downs, we all have our stories, and I really just wanted to give other people hope through seeing other people’s stories,” explained Cullen. “Through seeing those struggles, through seeing that it’s real people that are struggling, we can actually learn that we can actually relate to all of these people. These relatable stories actually give us an opportunity to speak what we’re feeling, what we’re experiencing and what struggles we’re actually encountering.”

Cullen hosts the weekly Struggle Creates Strength Podcasts. You can find all the episodes, including his most-recent conversation with Morgan Skinner, who excelled at hockey until a series of concussions took her out of the game, here. He’s also spoken with Josh McLaughlin, another hockey player, and with Tyler Smith, a member of the Humboldt Broncos who survived the bus crash which took the lives of his teammates, coaches and friends.

“Through listening to these stories, I wanted to take a leap of my own, which was pushing myself, because I had obviously taken myself from severe struggle and pain and a lot of depression, and all forms of different mental health struggles, and actually translated that into something positive,” said Cullen. “I wanted to do something of even greater impact, which I saw as exemplifying that through running.

“So I embarked on a couple of crazy journeys.”

November, or Movember, is known as Canadian Men’s Health Month.

Ironically, this year’s theme is Move For Your Mental Health.

Lucas Cullen certainly took that theme to heart this past summer with a series of runs which tested his mental fortitude.

He took part in a 52.5 kilometer run through the mountains in Victoria.

He then travelled to Ontario and ran from Guelph to Goderich. That event, wait for it… 121-km.

He finished his trek with a 40-km run in Kelowna.

“Every single run was, obviously, it was a lot of physical pain. But every single time it did get tough, I kept thinking about the cause of it, and even my own struggles relating back to the cause,” said Cullen. “But I was also thinking about the people who were struggling, and who’ve been through a lot, or are going through a lot. I’m there just showing, even if you were once encountering these mental struggles, where it’s a struggle to get out of bed, eventually at some point I believe you can bring yourself to a point where you’re kind of inducing pain on yourself because you want to challenge yourself for positive reasons – instead of the strain and struggle we can’t necessary control.”

Cullen started a Gofundme.org page when he started his series of runs.

“It wasn’t even necessarily about the money. It was about creating conversation,” added Cullen. When you set out on these fundraisers, even though people may not donate, they’re going to talk about it.

“It’s always a bonus to be able to create something and create conversation in the meantime.”

Well, the support for Lucas Cullen’s runs did pour in.

Wendy Wright, CMHA Kelowna’s Fund Development Manager, was there to receive the donation.

“I think first of all, he’s to be commended for giving a very brave and bold voice to a movement. He’s helping many who are struggling by being an ambassador in the community and saying, ‘Look at what I’ve gone through, look at what I’ve achieved, and look at what’s next’,” said Wright. “By supporting CMHA Kelowna, Lucas is highlighting and showcasing what we are doing, which, in a nutshell, is mental health for all. How do we get that? Well, we get to that through our housing and homelessness services, our Foundry Kelowna mental health services for youth and families, and our Discovery College programs. There’s a lot we do and we want people to know and understand that there’s access out there if you are hurting, if you are struggling.”

To donate to the Canadian Mental Health Association Kelowna branch, please click here.

And, we thank you!

Filed Under: News Tagged With: CMHA Kelowna, fundraising, mental health, support, Wellness

Coping with natural disaster stress

November 17, 2021 By Aaryn Secker Leave a Comment

Tens of thousands of British Columbians are going through upheaval right now as flooding takes place throughout the province. Mental health experts warn that the emotional toll of disaster can be as devastating as the financial strains of damage and loss of home, business or personal property.

Floods, evacuations, loss, worry—BC’s floods and wildfires affect us all. If you are feeling stressed or anxious, you are not alone. Here are some things you can do:

  • Prepare – Having a clear emergency plan and kit ready for your family, pets and livestock can ease your mind and allow you to focus on other needs.
  • Take care – Stress takes a toll on our physical and mental health. Eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep lowers stress and helps us cope.
  • Ask for help – Talking helps. Whether it’s with family, friends, a doctor or counsellor. Crisis lines are available to listen and help anytime—not just during a crisis. If you have been evacuated,  Emergency Support Services has resources to support you. You can also ask an ESS volunteer about the mental health or counselling support available to you.
  • Help others – Reach out to the vulnerable. Assisting others can help us regain a sense of purpose and community as we confront challenges together.
WATCH OUR What Really Works? LIVE PODCAST ON MANAGING DISASTER AND WILDFIRE STRESS

Helpful links and resources

Health and mental health

  • Coping through a natural disaster emergency – mental health tips for you and your family
  • Recognizing and addressing trauma and anxiety during wildfire season (First Nations Health Authority)
  • Recognizing and resolving trauma in children during disasters (First Nations Health Authority)
  • Disaster emotional response timeline – what to expect before, during and after a disaster
  • Your health during a wildfire (Government of BC)
  • Wildfire smoke and health (BC Centre for Disease Control)

Direct help for stress

  • Free, confidential support and crisis lines available 24/7:
    KUU-US Indigenous line 1-800-588-8717
    Interior BC Crisis Line 1-888-353-2273 – chat and text services available
    Northern BC Crisis Line 1-888-562-1214
    BC Mental Health Support Line 310-6789 (no area code required)
  • BounceBack – a free skill-building program for overcoming low mood, anxiety stress or worry
  • Find your local Canadian Mental Health Association
CMHA BC’s Coping Through Natural Disasters [see below] mental health tips are available now for sharing, downloading and printing in the hopes of supporting those British Columbians currently in harm’s way.

Click here to download the above document as a .pdf file.

This article originally appeared on CMHA BC’s website. Information provided by the Canadian Mental Health Association in partnership with the Province of BC, First Nations Health Authority, Interior Health, Northern Health and Provincial Health Services

Filed Under: News Tagged With: awareness, caregivers, community, coping, disaster stress, family support, floods, help, mental health, prevention, recovery, stress, Wellness, wildfire, wildfire season

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