A Sense of Belonging: Eimert's Story
68-year-old Eimert Koops is seated beside the colourful whiteboard, his long, wavy gray hair tucked under a leather ball cap while he quietly works to fill every inch with inspirational quotes from famous and not-so-famous writers, scientists, philosophers and poets.
Eimert has been coming to the CMHA Kelowna’s Wellness Development Centre (WDC) since 2009, beginning as a program participant before becoming a volunteer peer supporter in 2010. At the time, Eimert was struggling with multiple diagnoses which required medical intervention and periods of hospitalization. Fibromyalgia, COPD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are still part of his life, but Eimert has found methods of managing his symptoms and improving his well-being. He’s found and fostered a supportive social network and has built himself a remarkable life.
Eimert’s Quote Board is one incredible example of his lifelong desire to help others. It started organically, with the small collection of quotes that had touched him personally and encouraged him through difficult times. At the WDC he saw an empty space on a whiteboard that was used to display the lunch menu. He began simply, adding in a few words of inspiration with a marker. “Next thing I know, they decided to give me my own board. Then I felt more responsibility, and started changing the quotes every week,” he says. Twelve years later, Eimert draws from the huge binder he’s compiled to hand-write quotes on boards at the WDC and at KGH’s McNair psychiatric unit each week. (And if he’s not there to change them on time, people notice!)
His aim is to share words that will resonate deeply, that people can easily relate to, and hopefully apply to their own lives. In fact, some of the first quotes came from participants in an amateur poetry club at the WDC—all just regular people dealing with their own unique mental health challenges and trying to find a way forward.
Eimert has travelled many different roads on his journey with mental health and wellness. His career path speaks to the many talents he’s cultivated during his lifetime—from his 13 years in the lumber industry, to heavy equipment operator, to children’s photographer and district manager of a retail store. “I like being the jack of all trades,” he says. But what really stands out about Eimert’s journey is his determination to allow each life experience—the good as well as the painful, the ugly and the heartbreaking—to teach him and help him to grow into a more whole person, one who others now turn to for help and leadership.
Eimert recognizes the importance of talking about his struggles—past and present—and normalizing that process for others. He’s able to speak openly and with self-compassion about the relationship breakdowns, suicide attempt and episodes of mania and mental illness that led him to leave Kelowna for 16 years, 12 of which he spent living out of a vehicle. Eimert recalls feeling totally lost and not knowing how to find his way. “There were a lot of empty spaces there,” he explains. Now he sees how those experiences shaped him and are a part of who he is today.
Recounting the positive influence of his parents who instilled in him the importance of serving others, Eimert remembers hanging out in the basement as a teenager and noticing that one of his friends had disappeared upstairs to talk with his mom and dad, who were always there to offer help and support. The WDC has been a similar safe place for Eimert during his own dark times, somewhere he’s been able to share his experiences with folks who could relate, and access resources and training to develop the confidence and skills to manage his own mental health and wellbeing. “What really got me in the door was my own charm and charisma,” he says with a smile. “That’s been a gift that I didn’t really believe in. People recognized that in me. That was a lot of my journey, too, not having a lot of self-esteem.” Though it has been a slow process, he says he’s found his voice.
Today Eimert is a veteran peer support group leader WDC, with a busy schedule and much of his time spent fielding phone calls from friends and peers in need of a listening ear. “I’m finding now we all have our challenges, no matter who or what we are,” he says. Pointing to the quote board, he explains that the words are good reminders that we all face similar emotions and situations. “Laughter and tears go hand in hand, which is part of life…And that’s basically what mental health is about, guiding those thoughts and feelings.”
Eimert’s vision for the future of the WDC and mental health services in Kelowna is big. He’d like to see more training and courses available for people recovering from mental illness and availability of one-on-one peer support to help as steppingstones along the journey. He’d like to see more government support for mental health services, and a re-invigoration of family support services offered outside of CMHA, including the BC Schizophrenia Society (another one of Eimert’s many volunteer gigs). Most of all, he points to the need to create community and foster belonging so we all can thrive. “We need others. This is where the [Wellness Development] Centre comes in…I didn’t have the tools I do now. I’ve never ever felt a sense of belonging like I do with what I do [now]. I’ve got my meaning and purpose and quality of life I never had. I’m doing all right.”
