CMHA Kelowna

Supporting a Mentally Healthy Kelowna

  • Mental Health
    • Find Help Now
    • Learn About Mental Illnesses
    • Explore Your Mental Health
    • Talking to Teens About Mental Health
    • Supporting a Friend or Family Member
    • Workplace Mental Health
    • Preventing Suicide
  • Programs & Services
    • Youth & Families
      • Foundry Kelowna
      • Foundry Kelowna’s Wellness on Wheels
      • Youth Housing & Services
    • Housing
      • CMHA Kelowna Housing
      • Youth Housing & Services
      • Central Okanagan Rent Bank
      • Rent Supplements
      • Case Management
      • Homelessness Outreach Navigator
      • Scattered Sites Program
    • Wellness
    • Virtual Counselling Services
  • Community Education
    • Blog Post
  • Ways to Get Involved
    • The Payton & Dillon Budd Memorial Ride
    • Donate
    • Events & Activities Calendar
    • Host, Sponsor or Support an Event
    • Volunteer
    • All Careers
  • Discovery College
  • About Us

Avoid the holiday blues this festive season

December 1, 2022 By Communications Leave a Comment

Tips for Holiday Peace of Mind and Coping with Holiday Grief

The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy, celebration and for spending time with those we love. However, the festivities come with high expectations of perfection that many of us struggle to live up to. Many people experience feelings of isolation, financial strain or increased family conflict that can make this a very stressful time of year – making for possibly a very stressful time of year. And it’s even harder for those of us with poor mental health.

CMHA Kelowna suggests that some of the best ways to deal with added stress around the holiday season are common sense strategies. The key is to keep things simple, focus on what is important to you and, most importantly, remember to make your mental health a priority.

Tips for Holiday Peace of Mind:

  1. Plan ahead. If you’re entertaining, use the “keep it simple” strategy. Try menus you can make ahead of time or at least partially prepare and freeze. Decorate, cook, shop, or do whatever’s on your list in advance. Then you can really relax and enjoy visiting friends, relatives and coworkers.
  2. As much as possible, organize and delegate. Make a list and check it twice. Rather than one person cooking the whole family meal, invite guests to bring a dish. Kids can help with gift-wrapping, decorating, baking, or addressing or decorating cards.
  3. Beware of overindulgence. Having a few too many glasses of eggnog or holiday spirits can initially lift your mood but then drop you lower than before. Also, too many sweets will probably make you feel lethargic and tired. Simple things like eating well, exercising regularly and getting a good night’s sleep are ways to maintain holiday peace of mind and the winter blues.
  4. Stay within budget. Finances can be a huge source of stress for many people, especially during the holidays, and likely this year more so than others. Try putting family members and partners’ names in a hat and buy one gift for the person you draw; this can help reduce expenses and refocus energies on thoughtfulness, creativity and truly personal gifts. Encourage children to make gifts for friends and relatives so the focus is on giving rather than buying. Try to eliminate the unnecessary and stay within your budget. A call, a visit or a note to tell someone how important they are to you can be as touching as and more meaningful than a gift. You can also enjoy free activities like walking or driving around to look at holiday decorations, going window shopping, or making your own decorations or presents. Craigslist and swap events are great places to find inexpensive brand-new items, and excellent-condition used items (which is good for the environment too).
  5. Remember what the holiday season is about for you. Make that your priority. This season is really about sharing, loving and time spent with family and loved ones. Develop your own meaningful family traditions that don’t have to cost a lot of money. Also, remember not to take things too seriously. Fun or silly things to do, games or movies that make you laugh, playing with pets, and time alone or with a partner are all good ways to reduce stress. Use this time of year to help regain perspective; watching children can help remind us of the simple things that can bring us joy.
  6. Invite others. If you have few family or friends, reach out to neighbours. Find ways to spend the holidays with other people. If you’re part of a family gathering, invite someone you know is alone to your gathering.
  7. Connection is key. For some, this time of year can be a time for joy, celebration and for spending times with loved ones. For others, it can be a time of feeling lonely and isolated – it is important to remember that this year is not always merry for everyone. We all understand how feelings of connection and belonging are so strongly tied to our mental health. This time of year is the perfect time to reconnect with your network. Find ways to safely spend time with others. Also, if you know that someone will be alone – invite them to take part. This will help you and them to feel better.
  8. Remember the weather doesn’t help. Some people get the winter blues each year, and a much smaller number (2-3%) develop Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Paying attention to nutrition, exercise and sleep and being careful with alcohol are also important if you have a history of depression. If your low mood carries on into the New Year and starts to affect your daily life, you should see your family doctor. There are free skills and coaching available to help overcome low mood or mild to moderate depression. If you think you need help, during the holiday season or anytime of the year – click here for some resources.
  9. Learn stress-busting skills you can use year-round. If the holidays often get you down, you may struggle with stress, low mood and worry at other times of year. CMHA Kelowna’s Discovery College is for anyone and everyone who wants to gain the confidence to face life’s challenges. Our courses are created to support your well-being through learning. Each course is developed and delivered in collaboration with people who have knowledge and personal experience in each topic area. This means, at Discovery College you will experience an empowering learning environment where genuine people share knowledge and practical tools.

More Tips—Dealing with Holiday Grief

The holiday season can be especially rough for those of us who’ve lost someone close recently or who lost someone close at this time of the year. With all the messages of family togetherness and joy, the emptiness left behind when someone passes away is in harsh contrast to what society seems to “expect” us to feel. Below are some extra tips to help you or someone you know get through a potentially hard time:

  1. Talking about the deceased person is okay. Your stress will only increase if the deceased person’s memory is allowed to become a landmine that everyone tiptoes around.
  2. Things won’t be the same. It’s normal to feel at odds with yourself and family events when dealing with grief. Try not to hide away, but don’t feel guilty about setting limits on how many events you will attend.
  3. Don’t let other people’s expectations dictate how your holiday will unfold. If you don’t feel like doing something this holiday season, don’t let others force you. If you do want to attend holiday functions, make sure you know your limits. Leave early, arrive late, drive alone—do whatever you need to do to help yourself.
  4. Take care of yourself and seek support. Stress, depression and bodily neglect are not a great mix at any time of the year. Don’t forget to practice self-care and talk to your friends and family about how you feel. Also, many communities offer support groups for people who are grieving. Being around people who know what you’re going through can be very comforting.
  5. Think about building some new traditions. Remember that it’s okay not to do what you traditionally do. Planning something totally different is not an insult to the memory of a loved one, and can be a positive way to ease some of the pressure. That said, one of the traditions may include planning a special time to celebrate the memories of the person who died. Some families develop creative rituals like decorating a miniature Christmas tree at the cemetery, donating money to a charity like CMHA, singing their favourite seasonal song, reciting a special prayer before the evening meal, or even just lighting a candle. Symbolic gestures like these can help families validate their feelings of sadness and overcome the guilt of enjoying special occasions.

What Really Works?

With the holiday season fast approaching, we can begin to experience the pressure of festive expectations. To help cope, please check out What Really Works? A mental health podcast for young people. In Episode 14, hosts Beki and Olivia chat about why the holiday season can be stressful and filled with tough emotions, especially this time of year. From grief to hardships, to our personal expectations of festivities, you’ll hear not only validation of why this time of the year can be difficult for some, but also what tools we can use to support ourselves.

Whether you’re excited about the festive season of feeling apprehensive about it, this episode will provide you with some great knowledge and techniques!

Filed Under: News Tagged With: anxiety, awareness, caregivers, CMHA, cmhakelowna, depression, education, family support, help, holiday blues, holidays, mental health, stress, support

Avoid the Holidays Blues

November 26, 2021 By Aaryn Secker 4 Comments

The holiday season will be quickly upon us and once again it’s likely this year will look a little bit different than what we are all used to. This time of year is meant to be a time of joy, celebration and for spending time with those we love – something we may not be able to do in the usual way. The festivities also come with high expectations of perfection that many of us struggle to live up to. Feelings of isolation, financial strain or increased family conflict are not uncommon and it’s likely more of us will be having these feelings this year – making for possibly a very stressful time of year.

CMHA Kelowna suggests that some of the best ways to deal with added stress around the holiday season are common sense strategies. The key is to keep things simple, focus on what is important to you and, most importantly, remember to make your mental health a priority.

Tips for Holiday Peace of Mind:

  1. Plan ahead. If you’re entertaining n your bubble, use the “keep it simple” strategy. Try menus you can make ahead of time or at least partially prepare and freeze. Decorate, cook, shop, or do whatever’s on your list in advance. Then you can really relax and enjoy.
  2. As much as possible, organize and delegate. Rather than leaving holiday preparations to one person – get the whole family to join in! Whether it is gift-wrapping, decorating, baking, or addressing or decorating cards – there is something for every member of your household to take part in!
  3. Beware of overindulgence. Having a few too many glasses of eggnog or holiday spirits can initially lift your mood but then drop you lower than before. Also, too many sweets will probably make you feel lethargic and tired. Simple things like eating well, exercising regularly and getting a good night’s sleep are ways to maintain holiday peace of mind and the winter blues.
  4. Stay within budget. Finances can be a source of stress for many people, especially during the holidays, and likely this year more so than others. This year in particular folks are looking for genuine connection. Try putting family members and partners’ names in a hat and buy one gift for the person you draw; this can help reduce expenses and refocus energies on thoughtfulness, creativity and truly personal gifts. Encourage children to make gifts for friends and relatives so the focus is on giving rather than buying. A call, a physically distanced visit, or a note to tell someone how important they are to you can be as touching as, and sometimes more meaningful than, a gift.
  5. Remember what the holiday season is about for you. This season is really about sharing, loving and time spent with family and loved ones. Now is the time to have a look at your meaningful family traditions and think of creative ways you can still celebrate them. Also, remember not to take things too seriously. Fun or silly things to do, games or movies that make you laugh, playing with pets, and time alone or with a partner are all good ways to reduce stress and enjoy the season. Use this time of year to help reframe what is within your control and regain perspective.
  6. Connection is key. For some, this time of year can be a time for joy, celebration and for spending with loved ones. For others, it can be a time of feeling lonely and isolated – it is important to remember that this time of year is not always merry for everyone. This year in particular, we all understand how feelings of connection and belonging are so strongly tied to our mental health. This time of year is the perfect time to reconnect with your network. Find ways to safely spend time with others. Also, if you know that someone will be alone – invite them to take part. This will help you and them to feel better.
  7. Remember the weather doesn’t help. Some people get the winter blues each year, and a much smaller number (2-3%) develop Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Paying attention to nutrition, exercise and sleep and being careful with alcohol are also important if you have a history of depression. If your low mood carries on into the New Year and starts to affect your daily life, you should see your family doctor. There are free skills and coaching available to help overcome low mood or mild to moderate depression. If you think you need help, during the holiday season or anytime of the year – click here for some resources.

Tips for Coping with Holiday Grief

The holiday season can be especially rough for those of us who’ve lost someone close. With all the messages of family togetherness and joy, the emptiness left behind when someone passes away is in harsh contrast to what society seems to “expect” us to feel. Below are some extra tips to help you or someone you know get through a potentially hard time:

  1. Talking about the deceased person is okay. Your stress will only increase if the deceased person’s memory is allowed to become a landmine that everyone tiptoes around.
  2. Things won’t be the same. It’s normal to feel at odds with yourself and family events when dealing with grief. Try not to hide away, but don’t feel guilty about setting limits on how many events you will attend.
  3. Don’t let other people’s expectations dictate how your holiday will unfold. If you don’t feel like doing something this holiday season, don’t let others force you. If you do want to attend holiday functions, make sure you know your limits. Leave early, arrive late, drive alone—do whatever you need to do to help yourself.
  4. Take care of yourself and seek support. Stress, depression and bodily neglect are not a great mix at any time of the year. Don’t forget to practice self-care and talk to your friends and family about how you feel. Also, many communities offer support groups for people who are grieving. Being around people who know what you’re going through can be very comforting.
  5. Think about building some new traditions. Remember that it’s okay not to do what you traditionally do. Planning something totally different is not an insult to the memory of a loved one, and can be a positive way to ease some of the pressure. That said, one of the traditions may include planning a special time to celebrate the memories of the person who died. Some families develop creative rituals like decorating a miniature Christmas tree at the cemetery, donating money to a charity, singing their favorite seasonal song, reciting a special prayer before the evening meal, or even just lighting a candle. Symbolic gestures like these can help families validate their feelings of sadness and overcome the guilt of enjoying special occasions.

 

What Really Works?

With the holiday season fast approaching, we can begin to experience the pressure of festive expectations.

To help cope, please check out What Really Works? A mental health podcast for young people.

In Episode 14, hosts Beki and Olivia chat about why the holiday season can be stressful and filled with tough emotions, especially this year. From grief to hardships, to our personal expectations of festivities, you’ll hear not only validation of why this time of the year can be difficult for some, but also what tools we can use to support ourselves.

Whether you’re excited about the festive season or feeling apprehensive about it, this episode will provide you with some great knowledge and techniques!

[/vc_column_text]
[/vc_row
]

Filed Under: News Tagged With: anxiety, awareness, caregivers, community, depression, education, family support, help, holidays, mental health, stress, support

ADHD: Getting the Right Mental Health Diagnosis

April 9, 2021 By Kyla J Lane Leave a Comment

Kyla J Lane

I have ADHD.

I was diagnosed last week.

It’s something I started exploring a while ago after learning about how attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often presents in women (hint: it’s not bouncing off the walls like we’re told) & matching myself to those symptoms.

I’ve been seeing a therapist who is helping me to understand it & work through 29 years of feeling like a failure & like I couldn’t meet the simplest of expectations & realizing that there was a reason besides not trying hard enough.

I’ve had a lot of built-up frustration & anger with myself because of this and it’s incredibly relieving to know there’s a reason behind it all & I don’t have to continue suffering and working against a brain that isn’t meant to do things like “normal” brains.

I want to share this with you today because women are 3 times less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than men. Our symptoms often present differently, so we’re told we have anxiety, depression, are lazy, have emotion disorders, etc.

This is what happened when I went to a new family doctor to ask for help.

I was completely brushed off & told I didn’t have ADHD because I “did well in school” so it must be my anxiety causing all of my symptoms.

I was given anti-anxiety medication & told the most common side effect was diarrhea.

I wasn’t told I would slide into depression.

I wasn’t told I would wake up drenched in sweat and shaking.

I wasn’t told my anxiety would skyrocket.

I wasn’t told I would stop caring about my work, which means the world to me.

I wasn’t told about the dizziness & tiredness.

I wasn’t told I would feel like a zombie, & the people around me would notice I wasn’t myself.

I wasn’t told I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.

I went to my doctor to ask for help & I was dismissed & put on medication that was severely dangerous to my mental health with no warning.

I hate the thought of others going through it.

Thankfully, I have the resources & ability to advocate for myself but I know others aren’t so fortunate.

We need to normalize advocating for ourselves.

Find the people who are willing to listen to you and help you—I promise they’re out there.

I hope you’ll advocate for yourself.

You deserve it ❤

📰 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kyla J. Lane is the founder and president of her Soul Shot, which shows women how powerful they can be through sport by providing inspiration, resources, and opportunities for women to live their soul’s truth through sport.

💡 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 

  • Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Adults (CMHA BC): https://cmha.bc.ca/documents/attention-deficithyperactivity-disorder-in-adults-2/
  • Canadian ADHD Resource Alliance (CADDRA): https://www.caddra.ca/
  • Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada (CADDAC): https://caddac.ca/understanding-adhd/getting-started/adult/

Filed Under: News Tagged With: ADD, ADHD, adhd in adults, ADHD in Women, Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, anxiety, Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, depression, mental health diagnosis, mental health disorder

Next Page »

WHO WE ARE

ABOUT CMHA KELOWNA
MISSION VISION & VALUES
OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS
OUR TEAM


WHAT WE DO

REPORTS & IMPACT
LATEST NEWS
NEWSLETTER
COMPLAINTS


GET INVOLVED

CAREERS
EVENTS
GET INVOLVED
MEDIA LIBRARY


CONTACT

CMHA Kelowna
504 Sutherland Avenue, Kelowna, BC. V1Y 5X1
Phone: 250-861-3644
Fax: 250-763-4827
E-mail: [email protected]

CMHA Kelowna Charitable #: 10686 3392 RR0001

contact us | resources | privacy | site map

Imagin Canada Logo

The Standards Program Trustmark is a mark of Imagine Canada used under licence by Canadian Mental Health Association - Kelowna Branch.

The CMHA Kelowna offices are located on the ancestral, traditional, and unceded lands of the Okanagan Nation and Syilx peoples. We are committed to sustaining relationships with Indigenous people based on respect, dignity, trust, and cooperation in the process of advancing truth and reconciliation.


Copyright © 2023 Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna