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Restless (By Dan Harbridge)

April 29, 2021 By Daniel Harbridge Leave a Comment

Sitting still but itching to move.

Squirming but wishing I could sit still. 

Legs bouncing, drawing eyes, causing irritation.

I pace back and forth at the bus stop like a night watchman. I can’t stand silent like the others.

I lean forward placing all the weight on one foot while spinning my ankle. It goes on for hours. One day I’ll drill my big toe through to the basement.

My mind longs to be here but jumps from there to there and there and back again. I’ll think about the moment from before later and fail to be present then as well.  

I feel RESTLESS.

I ride my bike, typically as hard as I can for as long as I can. I get home drained. The restless energy inside is gone… for a while. It’ll come back but for now, it’s a relief.

Showers are calming. There’s nowhere else to be and there’s a freedom in that. I give into the sound of the water and I forget about being anywhere but here. 

In the morning, I meditate. At first, I’m barraged with thoughts but focusing on breathing robs the voices of their volume and slowly the noise departs.

Sometimes the restlessness is too much to handle. I want to jump out of my skin. I try to remember the habits that help me manage – cycling, meditation, even the showers… and I look forward to the windows of calm they bring, however brief they may be.

I try to remember that this sometimes relentless internal energy can drive me to complete tasks that bring me pride… 

… even if I’m squirming in my seat the whole time I’m doing so.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dan Harbridge has been the Digital Communications Specialist with CMHA Kelowna since January 2020. He is a mental health advocate who has lived experience with mental illness. He is also an advocate for equity in professional sports.

Filed Under: Mental Health Week 2021, News

CMHA Kelowna Job Postings

February 13, 2021 By Daniel Harbridge

Below you’ll find job postings that are currently open. If you would like to apply for a job, please down load the CMHA Kelowna Internal Application Form to your computer, fill it in electronically and email it to HR Coordinator, Hayley Romanchuk [email protected], prior to the application deadline.
Get the CMHA Kelowna Internal Application Form here
Home Support Worker - F/T Heath House

Home Support Worker – F/T Heath House

CMHA Kelowna is hiring a Home Support Worker (HSW) for our Heath House Supportive Housing program. This position is a full-time, 40 hours per week Sunday to Thursday 10:00am to 6:00pm  WHO IS A HOME SUPPORT WORKER? Home Support Workers within our organization provide in-unit assistance, support and basic life skills training to housing program [...]
Lets Go!
Youth Housing Worker - P/T Bright Mindz (Benvoulin)

Youth Housing Worker – P/T Bright Mindz (Benvoulin)

WHO IS A YOUTH HOUSING WORKER? The Youth Housing Worker is responsible for supporting young people who will be housed on a Youth specific floor at a market housing building site on Benvoulin. The residents will be those who were homeless or at risk of homelessness. The Youth Housing Worker works with a team to [...]
Lets Go!
Wellness Coach P/T - 1 Year Fixed Term

Wellness Coach P/T – 1 Year Fixed Term

This is a 1 year fixed term, part-time position that offers 2.5 days per week. Working day options are Monday – Wednesday (6hrs each day), or Monday – Thursday (4.5 hours per day). WHO IS A WELLNESS COACH? We are looking to identify exceptional candidates for a Wellness Coach position in our Wellness Development Centre [...]
Lets Go!

Filed Under: Employee Portal

Set Up Gmail & Outlook Signatures

January 15, 2019 By Daniel Harbridge

Instructions on how to set up your email signature in Gmail and Outlook.

Filed Under: Employee Portal

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